One question being asked a lot after I reach to age 30–“Are you going to have babies?”
My answer is “no I am not going to have children”. People will feel shock, suspicious and even angry. They threw all sorts of benefit of having children–kids are cute and fun, they can support you economically and emotionally, you will feel joy of being a completed woman (completed?!!) e.c.t.
Sometimes I will fight back with better reasons why I don’t want babies–freedom, less stress, early retirement and so on. But most of time, I remain silence or just fake a smile and walk away.
But what I really want to say is, it is just a personal choice, regardless what, it should be respected. Of course having baby has gain and loss, same as not having baby. One can not win everything while not losing nothing.And every individual can give you a list of reason why they choose A but not B.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not anti-babe, I fully respect women who choose to be mothers.What trouble me is the narrow way of thinking. There are lots of women not fit to be mothers while they still give birth to baby and inwardly they regret and resent. They are not voluntarily choose to be mothers but urged by their family, friends and tradition value. They were told women should and will be mothers from a very young age. When they grow up, they naturally seek marriage based on mutual agreement that they will have babies. Not having babies become a taboo or sickness, esp when all your friends become mothers.
One of my colleague gossiped behind my back. He said it is queer that I don’t have baby after 30s, I must be infertile or my husband don’t have sex with me. It made me laugh with pity of that guy. His discrimination of childless women shows his narrow mind set. His way of thinking represents how society and family treat women.
Well, I don’t care how people judge me. If they don’t respect various choice of women, that is their problem, not mine. I have good sex life, I am healthy and active, I am able to take care of children, I just choose not to have children, as simply as that.