What a day!
Have a talk with Miss. Bean last night. I said my relationship with my husband is very very good and I feel happy and relax when I sleep beside him. I found that a good relationship almost means a healthy life. There is no doubt of royalty and feeling of unsecured between us.We are like two happy animals that running freely in the forest, no fear and no struggle, and never abandon each other.
I was not been trusted by some guys that I have dated and I don’t trust them as well.There is a strong feeling of unsecured that hovering in my heart and I become a kind of self-hate. I have been with a guy for almost 3 years but he still doesn’t trust me. He checked on everything and became very suspicious. I was very angry and the feeling of not been trusted upset me and I almost decide to revenge by having a real affair. But I didn’t process on this adventure as I can’t force myself to like someone that I don’t have feeling at all. What I have done or pretend to do was merely a silly revenge. Afterward, I was surprise that I was compelled to do such silly things and I thought I am such evil woman without gratitude.
But I am wrong and he is wrong. I never thought that I can trust a man without any reserve and the feeling of being trusted is so amazing. I have did some childish things to my husband but he never truly mad with me. He never abandon me even I lost my mind. All my happiness is from the trust, love and patience of my husband. Suddenly I realised there is another world that open to me with heaven-like beauty. All my worry and turbulent mood became less and less and I can concentrated on improving myself in study and inner peace.
How can I tell you that I love you so much? I feel that all words are void to express my love to you and everyday I feel I have won a lotto by choosing you as my life partner.
Yes, love is amazing and I don’t think it will die out as time pass. Thanks my dear, for your support and your love:)